[day two.]

2007-01-15T04:28:00.000-05:00

this is day two.

I'm catching my dreams
before they fly out my window.

I don't have much to say about today as I've spent the majority of the day sleeping. I am almost completely nocturnal and am not quite enjoying it as much as I could. I've been thinking about sleep a lot today and I use the term day very loosely. As a result, I decided that today's picture would be of my dream catcher. My dream catcher hangs beside my bed in front of my window. I love the look of it, it's just so gorgeous and intricate. I am a small part Native American, Sioux to be specific, and enjoy keep a little bit of the culture with me, and I do mean a little, seeing as I know very little about Native American culture, let alone Sioux indians.
Dream catchers were hung in tepees, above those sleeping, to protect against nightmares. Good dreams would pass through the dream catcher and down the feathers toward the sleeping person. The feathers were meant to aid the flight of good dreams. On the other hand, nightmares would become entangled in the dreamcatcher's web and would melt away when the sun rose in the morning.

[day one.]

2007-01-14T00:15:00.000-05:00

this is day one.
I miss and love my boots.

Keller and I have been dating about a month and a half. I love this feeling, I never thought I could feel so complete again. I had fallen in love once before and was so hesitant to fall in love again. I remember one night, I had been drinking and therefore more willing to express myself. I was laying in Keller's bed, singing, when he came in to go to sleep. I looked up at him and said, "I wish I could say I loved you." It seemed so amusing. The truth was I didn't want to say it to him until we had been dating for a long while. I wanted to be sure. I told him on New Year's eve, about one month after we had started dating, that isn't long into the relationship at all. I couldn't help it. When I leave a person, I do not miss them. I am the type of person that leaves and doesn't look back. Usually. When I went home for Christmas break, I found myself so incredibly homesick. I missed that boy more than I've missed anyone before. I've gone to Australia and New Zealand for a month, without close friends or family. Here I was, a mere two hours from him, two weeks away from seeing him again, and I was dying. I seriously could barely stand those two weeks.
I love him.
I feel like such a sap, but I really have fallen hard for him. The last time I fell for someone, it took months for me to think of the L word and they brought it up first. Here I am, the first to say it. He doesn't say it back yet, and I'm quite glad. I want him to really mean it when he says it rather than just repeat it for the sake of not hurting me. I did that once, it ended badly. I love the way his face lights up when I do say it though. I rarely say it, I don't want to be like my teenaged self, saying it to my boyfriend any chance I get. I say it when I need to, when I really want him to feel special and loved. He gives me the most heart-warming smile and I just melt. I love what we have. I love the fact that we can argue civily and we can goof around and we can just lay in bed all day curled up in blankets, naked, and completely happy. I love the little things he does to make me smile, like drag me off some place quiet where I can work and then play piano for me while I write my papers. I love how we don't use money or things to make each other smile because neither of us have much to give and we know that actions are so much more than gifts and presents. We'll go out some place spontaneous, and entertain each other. I want this love to last a long time. I haven't let a person make me this happy ever.
I love loving this man. He's wonderful.
. . . . . . .

The story behind the boots is fairly amusing. A few friends and I were hanging outside chit-chating when my one friend, Maxx, begins to think about how shoes can be a metaphor for life and relationships. We began to think of it and it did start to make sense, for the majority. An example of this metaphor goes as follows. I, generally, do not own many shoes, I will have one pair of sneakers or flip flops and wear them until they are falling apart and still hold on to them until it is useless and I must go buy a new pair. My relationships and crushes go about in generally the same way. I will find one pair of "shoes" (a.k.a: a love interest) and I will hold onto that person for as long a possible. I was dating a boy for two years during highschool and the last six months of the relationship was spent yo-yoing around fighting with myself over the need to get out of the relationship. My one roommate, Ilana, has many shoes she also has many "shoes". Unfortunately, Ilana also has a pair of "socks". This is revelation came on many weeks after the shoe metaphor began, but still makes perfect sense. See, my friend Ilana has a boyfriend, he being her socks, back home. He is always in the background of her heart and mind. Yet Ilana is a girl that can not be tied down when so far from her lover and enjoys trying on as many shoes as she can while away from her poor "socks". Ilana has made quite some progress in a school where the ratio is about 30% men 70% women, she has tried about fifteen pairs of "shoes" on. Not that I'm saying she's had sex with these shoes, shoes are not about sex, though they can be about making out and kissing. There also comes a point where flirting isn't just casual flirting and becomes "trying on shoes." My "shoes" are of course my lovely boyfriend, Keller. Not that he was the first pair I tried on. No, I found a few pairs before him that just didn't match my outfits. Keller is the kind of guy that likes wearing clunky combat boots as such, he has named himself my boots and I am his pointe shoes. He gets that because I am a dancer and have been practicing ballet for about seventeen years. I can't image him actually wearing pointe shoes, he may break his neck, but it's the sort of lovey-dovey adorable thing that we have. So that is the story behind me and my picture. My caption for it on my other sites- myspace, facebook- is,
"I'm taking this metaphor a little too seriously."

Serial Thoughts of a Serial Mind

[day two.]

[day one.]